Muncul balik

Selamat malam semua. Jap, aku ada followers ke? Entah.

Mungkin lepas ni memang akan ada 1 entri je per year. Sebab aku dah busy dan dah berkurang minat untuk menulis. Apa dah jadi dengan aku?

Dalam masa setahun, memang macam-macam boleh jadi. Seriously. Bila aku recall balik apa yang jadi dalam masa setahun ni, aku sendiri tak percaya. Clinical year went so fast, aku almost nak habis dah pun, wow, clap clap. Tahniah buat cik Nad kerana mampu melalui clinical year sampai ke tahap ini.

Ok seriously, aku dah takde idea nak tulis apa. Apa kena dengan aku ni?
Bye.

How ironic

Salam and hi all.

I reread my previous post (and it was so long time ago, meh). I found out that I was trying to preach about how we must appreciate things we have now, and not looking for more. And I suddenly realised that I am not practicing it. I am clearly looking out for more. Hmm. Why?

I can't find the answer. For whom it may concern, I am truly sorry. This might sound like an excuse, but I just can't go on. Sometimes, the heart has reasons that reasoning wouldn't understand. The instinct drives you beyond your thinking capabilities.

I just hope that the mistakes I did will become my lesson, and a lesson to you as well. May you find your happiness in an effortless way and may it wash off your resentment towards me. I pray to The Almighty Allah to send you strength and bless you all the way.

Of Love And A Couch

Salam and hi all.

I was lying on the bed effortlessly when I thought of watching a movie. But I'd like to watch the not-now-showing movie in the cinemas. So I browse through my HDD, and what caught my eyes was 'Sex and the City'. Oh dear, don't give me that look. Well, I've watched it before and my opinion was it was an OK movie, not that impressive. But I don't know what on earth had pushed me to watch it again this time.

---------watching movie--------

Throughout the movie, I found myself clicked the pause button so many times--to reread the subtitles--because I was so attracted, or I would say, affected by the script. And so I thought, "why did I not feel this way when I watched this before? This movie has a lot to teach us."  I must be a grownup now, yeah I think so.

"I was running like crazy, trying to make that one man I loved to love me back. Now he does love me, and he just wants to sit on a couch in New York city with me. I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future. And what's so bad about a couch anyway?" This was the line taken from the scene when Bradshaw realised that all this time, she demands so much from her husband, that she forgot how bad she wants him to be in her life. She dragged him to a crowded film premiere when all he wants after getting back from work is to sit on the couch with her.

OK, I must say this is so....I can't find the word. Maybe you can fill in the blanks for me. How we, human being, are not satisfied with what we're having now, is a serious thing to be fixed. When we want something so badly, we ended up like a crazy person putting in endless effort so that we can have it, just like we've always wanted. And now that we have it, we want something else! We demand for more. Shouldn't we feel grateful that we've earned it?

Life's too long when you don't have someone beside you to spend it with. Cherish your beloved husband, family, and friends.

Till then.

A million worth ten minutes

Salam and hi all.

I'm back in Jakarta. Sob sob. Taknak terima kenyataan yang holiday's over. Tak dan panas bontot balik Malaysia, dah kena balik Jakarta semula.

So why am I back here? Untuk repeat OSCE. What is OSCE? Some sort of clinical exam where we, med students have to diagnose a number of patients in front of the examiners. Truth be told, it is only a matter of luck. Why? Cause people have different perception, different desire, and so as our examiners. If you strive hard for the exam only to be examined by the 'killer' specialists (whom we never knew how to please), you might not pass. And if you only did it half-heartedly, but the examiners were so-so lah kan, you might pass all the stations. Huh. Very unfair. But this only happens in my university, I guess?

OK, I am not writing this because I want to merungut (sebab dah puas merungut before this), I just want to express my sadness upon paying for the exam. So it's like this, in my university if you fail a paper, or a clinical exam, you will be given a chance to repeat the paper or the clinical exam. The difference between those two is, you must pay for repeating a clinical exam. Repeating a paper won't cost you anything. So in my case, I fail a station in OSCE, where I need to repeat it, and for that reason I have to pay lah! Haa, here's the interesting story. It costs me a million rupiah (about RM 300) to repeat that exam. And the exam only lasts for ten minutes. No extra classes or anything, just to sit for a 10 minutes exam, do I have to pay that much?

Plus, I felt so wronged because the examiner being "kedekut markah". My friends and I have done our best, finished all the physical exam, giving the right diagnosis and treatment, and educate the patient as well. What more do you expect us to do? How can others succeeded when they did the same thing as us? Sigh. Enough lah, konon tadi taknak merungut but here I go again. Now my 1 million rupiah have gone away. Bubbye money.

P/S: Pray for MH370.

Surat Penuh Ampun

Adat manusia, bila berada di bawah, baru nak ingat penciptanya. Bila dilanda kesusahan baru lama solatnya, panjang doanya. Dan aku tidak terkecuali. Ya Allah, aku tujukan surat penuh ampun kepadaMu. Namun seperti yang Kau janjikan, bersama-sama kesusahan, ada kemudahan. Inna maal 'usri yusra.

Buat Sekian Kalinya

Salam semua.
Dah lama tak menulis, so harini teringat nak menulis.
It's December people, and we almost come to the end of the year 2013. How fast time flies.

And speaking of new year, there's something that definitely increases every year, which is, AGE!
Yeah, everyone knows that Naddy, blerggghhh.
So, proportionally, the amount of questions of "bila nak kawen?', "dah ada calon ke belum?"  etc. etc. will no doubt increase as well. Siapa setuju? Ya, sila angguk.
Buat sekian kalinya, ingin saya tegaskan bahawa, kalau saya dah ada calon and dah nak kawen, maka akanku kirimkan undangan, agar kau tak berharap. Eh maaf. Teringat lagu ni pulak eheheh. *betul ke lirik lagu tu?*

Pada kengkawan yang telah berumahtangga, I am happy for you, yes I am. And jealous as well, hee. Siapa yang taknak kawen kan? Eh ade jugak dak. OK la sekarang aku nak cerita pasal aku.
The thing is, bila tengok kengkawan tie the knot, sebok rasa nak kawen jugak. But when ada orang masuk meminang, asudah, mula lah gelabah tak tentu pasal. Gabra tokleh buat ape dah. Choppp! Takde orang pinang aku lagi weh, but yeah, almost there. Merisik is what they call, isn't it?

So I did my istikharah, and still doing now, asking Him whether I'm ready for this or not, asking Him whether he is the one or not. And do pray for me, people. Ibu cakap "takpe kalau lelaki tu besungguh-sungguh, jangan kita yang lebih-lebih." Bukan nak cakap this should be one-sided ke apa kan, but women tend to give her all and if dah heartbroken nanti, mula la meroyan kan. *ok this does not apply to every women, I'm sorry, it's just generally*

When I see him making efforts and sounds so serious about this matter, somehow I feel assured. Tu lah pempuan, cepat aje cair ye. Hahaha. Thank you, mister!

But kita hanya boleh plan kan, yet HE is the greatest planner. May Allah ease us and bring us closer in His will, in His way. Ameen.

Wedding Gift Ideas

Salam and hi semua.
It has been a while since I last wrote. Been busy with exams and all.
So yeah, harini aku nak tulis pasal wedding. Opps, bukan aku punya wedding ok, orang lain punya wedding. But the thing is, aku tengah blur nak kasi wedding gift apa. I am soooo not into that kitchen utensils, iron or rice cooker. Aku nak bagi something different. Actually rasa nak bagi a box of couple items. So few things came across my mind;

1. Couple mug
     Since newlywed ramai akan pindah rumah baru, so I guess this is essential.

Mrs ALWAYS right. I like!

2. Couple pillowcases
    This is definitely cute :)

You surely have to give extra space for me okay?

3. Couple towel
    Boring ke idea ni? Tapi towel penting kot!

4. Couple toothbrush holder

    Hoyeahh even bathroom has to be bright :D

Good morning, darling :D

Well, at first I thought maybe the newlywed takkan suka dengan those stuff, cuz they surely have their own style. Or maybe they are not into those lovey-dovey items. But hey, those are all the necessities that you need when you guys are moving into your new house, right? Hahahaha *nak jugak bagiiii*  

And if you guys feel that this entry is a help for finding the perfect gift for your friend's big day, I am extremely glad :D

Till then, tata!

Hal Dunia

Salam semua, it has been awhile!
I am so busy these days that I found myself went to bed early, where it is unusual for me. So apa yang nak ditulis hari ni? Ya, pasti hal dunia lagi.

Few days ago, dua orang junior datang visit rumah aku, after Maghrib we had a little chat. Sisters' bonding time? Sort of. Well honestly aku bukanlah seorang kakak yang penuh dengan kualiti penyayang and whatnot, tapi somehow bila adik2 cerita pasal what they are facing now, aku terus rasa macam "It's okay, I feel you. I feel you." Okay, aku bukan nak bukak aib junior aku ke apa eh, tapi dari banyak2 cerita yang kitorang borakkan haritu, what I'm going to write today is something that most of us has came across: How people judge others, rather than him/herself.

Alright let's go!
Since kita masuk tadika lagi, or even earlier, kita dah start ada kawan. Ada macam2 jenis kawan, yang kaki buli, yang pendiam teramat sangat, yang suka mengadu kat cikgu kalau kawan sebelah tak siap homework, yang suka ambik makanan bekal orang, macam2 kan? Tu sekolah rendah, naik sekolah menengah, lain pulak pesennye. Ada yang nak kawan dengan set2 cool je, set2 athlete je, ada set2 genius walaupun tak study hard pun, dan sebagainya. Dari banyak2 kawan ni, mesti ada yang kita suka dan yang kita tak suka. Ada jugak masa yang kita tak suka orang tu without a reason, "entah, tengok dia pun aku rasa menyampah. Padahal dia tak buat apa2 pun kat aku." Haaa tu diaaa. Kawan yang tak berapa nak baik akan cakap macam ni kat kita, "alah, entah2 orang lain pun rasa mcm tu kat ko. hahaha." Dah ketepek kena kat muka tu kan.

So, apa kata mula dari hari ni kita jangan sibuk nak benci orang, tak suka kat orang. Mudah sangat nak judge orang, pastu tak suka kat dia. "Orang macam dia tu tak layak disukai pon." Ehh, siapa kita untuk menilai? Cuba tanya soalan kat diri sendiri, "semua orang suka kita ke? Kita layak ke untuk disukai?" Mungkin ada antara kita yang fikir "takpe lah kalau ada orang tak suka aku pon, sebab aku pun ada jugak tak suka orang." Haishh, kalau macam tu, awak tu pun sama taraf jelah dengan orang yang awak tak suka tu, entah2 worse. Awak sibuk sangat tak suka kat dia, rupanya awaklah the only person yang tak suka dia, orang lain semua suka dia. Dan boleh jadi lebih ramai yang tak suka awak.

Point hari ni adalah, kalau orang buat tak baik kat kita pun, janganlah kita benci dia. Selalu orang akan ada revenge bila someone buat tak baik kat dia. "Aku nak balas balik apa yang dia buat kat aku." So, apa bezanya awak dengan dia? Sama je lah. Layak la korang berdua untuk tidak disukai. Betul tak? Kita sepatutnya jadi lebih baik dari dia, sampai dia nampak yang kita ni memang jauh lebih bagus dari dia, dan siapa tahu nanti dia pun jadi baik. Tak semena-mena kita dah kurangkan dosa dan tambah pahala, tak gitu?

Jangan sibuk nak kritik orang, kritik diri sendiri dulu. Apa yang belum cukup, apa yang perlu diperbaiki? Buang masa je duk kritik orang, lebih baik makan dan tido. (ehh?)

Mars and Venus

Selamat malam semua. Entry kali ni mungkin akan ada unsur sexist. Aku dah warning.

Fitrah manusia, akan tertarik kepada yang berlawanan jenis, berlainan gender. *oh, tapi ada yang tak kan? hihi*  Harini aku nak cakap pasal lelaki dan perempuan. Ayat yang kita selalu dengar pempuan cakap adalah "lelaki, semua sama je." betul tak? betul kan? And adakah kaum lelaki tahu kenapa pempuan cakap macam tu? Kalau takde angin, masakan pokok bergoyang. Sebab memang betul pun. Ayat ni bukan bermaksud yang semua pempuan tak sama, sebab kita tahu Allah ciptakan lelaki dan perempuan tu memang dengan distinct character, supaya kita tahu yang mana pempuan, yang mana lelaki. Tapi jarang kita dengar ayat "perempuan semua sama" kan?

Aku nak tanya, pempuan akan cakap ayat "semua laki sama je" tu pada situasi apa je? Bila boyfriend dia bagi bunga? Nope. Bila boyfriend dia belanja handbag? Nope. Bila boyfriend dia duk tenung pempuan sexy? Yes. Bila boyfriend dia cheat? Yes. (Okay, tak kesahlah boyfriend ke, suami ke). So conclusion nya adalah, ayat tu hanya akan keluar bila kaum XY ni buat perangai. Bila dia baik and romantic semua, takde pulak pempuan cakap kan? Apa yang korang nampak kat sini? Fikir.

Let's say sorang laki bagi chocolate and roses or tak kesah la hadiah apa pun dekat awek dia on her birthday, tetiba awek dia cakap "awhhh, semua laki sama je.." Mesti pelik kan? Apa yang laki tu akan fikir? "Semua laki bagi hadiah yang sama ke kat awek dia time birthday?" Hahahaha ye ke macam tu? Pepandai je aku kan. Tapi nak cakap nye lah, ayat tu tak penah membawa maksud yang baik kan? Alah, aku macam lost of words lah. Macam tak sampai lagi apa benda yang aku nak cakap ni. Aishhhh. Apa eh. Paham tak apa yang aku nak sampaikan? Aku rasa pempuan cuma akan pikir laki ni semua sama bila diorang shows their true self. Bila dia tunjukkan yang fitrah dia ni memang suka kepada kaum hawa, nak-nak yang cun kan. Bila dia pilih soccer over bergayut dengan awek. That's when we thought that you guys are just the same! Haa! Tu la apa aku nak cakap. Hehehe.

Okay, so sekarang aku akan cuba counter balik apa yang aku cakap tadi. Actually, lelaki harus tau yang sebenarnya pempuan ni memang bersifat penganalisa. Sebab tu dia boleh cakap semua laki sama, sebab dia dah analized ciri-ciri lelaki ni. Bagus apa, toksah susah-susah nak explain yourself, pempuan dah tau dah. Tengok muka, cara cakap, cara makan, dah boleh tau awak tu macam mana. Cewah, Kim Possible ke apa, heh. Buktinya, takyah cari jauh-jauh, tengok lah mak-mak korang, "Mak tengok anak Cik Limah depan rumah tu baik budaknye, hormat orang tua." "Adik, jangan kawan lah dengan budak Atan tu, perangai macam apa." Memang penganalisa kan mak-mak kita? Itu baru cerita pasal orang, belum barang. "Kain gini tak sesuai buat baju kurung, panas." "Eh nak beli ikan tengok mata dia dulu..." and so on. Punya lah analisa kan. Jadi, memang kaum XX begitu. So pempuan pun ada typical traits nye jugak. Boleh je nak cakap "pempuan, biasa lah..." Kan? Tapi bezanya, ayat tu bukan ditujukan pada traits yang negative.

Before this aku pernah baca buku Mars and Venus, yang popular tu. The author really pointed out distinct characteristics in both genders, mostly in terms of communication. And lepas baca buku tu, aku pun dok la perati mak dengan ayah aku. Hah, memang sama! Amazed kejap. How men and women respond to the exact same situation really differs a lot! Nak cerita kat sini panjang sangat. Korang cari lah ye buku tu. And I guess before getting married, bagus baca buku tu, it may help you to prepare yourself to face difficult situations (bajet aku dah kawen jek :P). Okay sebelum aku merapu ke topik akad nikah pulak better stop sekarang.

Bukan pempuan je cakap, Kim Jong Kook the Commander pun setuju.

Mood: Ramai gila kengkawan aku bertunang kawen semua. Aku masih tabah study di usia yang makin tua.

Ajarkanku bahagia

"Duka ini adalah anak anak sepi
Pada rumah sebuah puisi;
Diam mereka di tangga kata serangkap nestapa
Penyajak itu tidak lagi tahu bagaimana mahu mengeja bahagia."

Aku copy paste ye puisi ni, bukan aku yang tulis.
Sangat pendek, tapi sangat mendalam.
Aku suka, dan aku paham.